| this sucks... |
[Nov. 24th, 2005|11:44 am] |
| [ | how's Waldo? |
| |  pissed off | ] |
i'm sick of being lied to....i'm sick of being so stupid and believing THE PEOPLE I TRUST!!!!!!!!!!??????? well...i don't want to become a cynical bitch...but i guess i have to because most of the people i trust lie to me all the time. I don't even know who they are anymore!
i guess i used to like family...this morning, i do for the most part still...i just don't like how they can lie to you, and make you feel stupid for trusting them. |
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| YAY |
[Nov. 23rd, 2005|07:06 pm] |
I am so excited for crystal now!....i wasn't before but now that i have a dress to wear i am really happy and excited!...
YAY...now i need to find a date...that's the down fall...oh well if i can't find a date, i can just get my money back...so there is an up side to all of this, YAY....super!
haha
<3 |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 21st, 2005|06:05 pm] |
i hate drama...apparently i like it!
say who...the smartest person ever!
FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you suck! |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 18th, 2005|10:04 pm] |
| [ | how's Waldo? |
| | PISSED THE HELL OFF! | ] |
words from me.....
who ever freaking, killed my aunt is a fucker and no one likes you!
i am pissed scared annoyed and really sad all at the same time!...
this week sucked!
RIP aunt Margaret <3 |
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| one more day! |
[Nov. 11th, 2005|06:58 am] |
| [ | how's Waldo? |
| |  awake | ] |
close up people come home tomorrow...yay i'm so excited!....
this week has been hell in school, but after the 3 days were over it was cool....URI smells like body oder and i am not even kidding!
no joke...ps sadly nothing "fun" happened while i was at uri...(some of you know what i mean)...hhahaha
sadly and i need brenna to pick up her phone...but she never did..and she decides to call me when i'm sleeping!....ugh!
<3 |
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| dum dum dum dum dum |
[Nov. 7th, 2005|05:31 pm] |
| [ | how's Waldo? |
| |  bored | ] |
| [ | da tunes |
| | dr phil...no joke!...haha | ] |
i am excited about giving blood tomorrow!
i am also excited about having only 2 days left of school and then going to visit Becca on Wednesday!
i wish i went on close up! |
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| finally! |
[Oct. 30th, 2005|03:46 pm] |
| [ | how's Waldo? |
| |  loved | ] |
| [ | da tunes |
| | songs in my head!....???? | ] |
I am so happy right now....because i finally had a breakthrough with my sad period!...i was thinking about everything that i didn't have rather than think about everything that i do have!..this morning when i woke up i had a talk with God...prayer if you will. well i was talking about how i needed help with my heart because my heart was bitter and sad all the time and i was sick of it!...well today in church, i had this revelation type thing...a breakthrough because the whole time PB was talking about how we need to give our problems etc. up to God...well i started to well up with tears...i knew that, that is what i needed to do...and i did i am telling you this because i wanted to share how happy i am and how i got to this new happiness!..well as i was there i had this vision a picture if you will...of Jesus and myself sitting on the floor and Jesus was helping me super glue my heart back together!....i am not kidding at all that is what i saw and i am so greatful for that because i am feeling very upbeat and SO happy i love it this is the feeling i had been asking for since i started feeling sad about the whole Ruth with no boyfriend situation!...
i am so happy i love it!
love love love!
you all!.....<3 |
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| yikes! |
[Oct. 30th, 2005|08:57 am] |
| [ | how's Waldo? |
| |  good | ] |
| [ | da tunes |
| | gold digger...but in my head! | ] |
i aint sayin' she's gold digger..................that song has been stuck in my head for A LOOOONNNGGGG TIME! |
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| aaahhh |
[Oct. 28th, 2005|10:41 pm] |
| [ | how's Waldo? |
| | weirded out!!!!! | ] |
| [ | da tunes |
| | some movie/??? | ] |
i can not believe it!!!!...i saw him tonight, yikes it was MAD awkward i didn't say hi because he was with a girl and it would just be weird...yeah of all places THAYER ST. you can't avoid it!...hahaha yeah and in rockstar omg we went in to get emma a new nose ring and 10 minuted later he walks in...AAAAHHH he ignored me the whole time but i think he didn't recognize me because of my hair but still...i would have said hi but at the time we were leaving he was on the phone etc....co i decided not to bother him because that's the whole reason why he started ignoring my calls....etc. you know how the story goes!...none of my friends are awake and it is driving me crazy being all alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
aaahhh thayer st. is forever tanted!!!!!!!!!!!
hahahha
<3 |
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| why am i so slow? |
[Oct. 28th, 2005|04:34 pm] |
| [ | how's Waldo? |
| | sad | ] |
| [ | da tunes |
| | nothing! | ] |
why am i so slow at getting over boys...i don't physically cry anymore but when i think about him i get really really sad and then start to think about all the times we shared and how much he made me laugh etc. i hate this...last night i almost cried again for the first time in a few weeks. I really wish i had someone new so i can put all of this sadness behind me....i think for the most part i have all of this built up sad and bitter is because of the way it ended!...by stop talking to me all of a sudden sucks because there are no feelings that i can get out...i want to just call him and get these feelings off my chest...he would probably ignore my call but all of these feelings i have just build up and cause me to never get over things, i feel the tears welling up inside my eyes right now as i type this!...i know he will never read this but i can't help but miss him i know that what he did to me was crappy and i shouldn't think about him at all but he seems to be all i am thinking about...and i can't seem to stop....i think about how cute he is and how funny he is etc. then i cry!....it sucks i want to find someone new but it seems that no one is attracted to who i am..which says alot about my personality!...gosh it doesn't help that apparently my personality bites!....yeah!...haha i just want to get over my feelings and enjoy life and be happy like i was a while ago!...
my broken heart needs healing!
sorry for another annoying boyfriendless Ruth entry!...but i had to get this out!
<3 |
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| so stupid |
[Oct. 26th, 2005|07:50 pm] |
| [ | how's Waldo? |
| | bored | ] |
this is how desperate i am i just had this thought and it's so dumb i wanted to share it will all of you....i am going to change my myspace status from single to in a relationship just to see what it looks like on my page...and because i haven't had a boyfriend in about 3 years!!!!!!!!!!
so yeah.
<3 |
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|
| balderdash |
[Oct. 24th, 2005|06:10 pm] |
| [ | how's Waldo? |
| |  weird | ] |
| [ | da tunes |
| | comedy | ] |
all of my updates lately have been about how bored i am ...hahaha sad huh? i know...yeah so i don't feel like going to school tomorrow i mean who does? i would write about my real feelings of lonelyness but i don't think i should because everyone is probably getting annoyed with my boyfriendless sadness!...i don't know why i get sad because i have awesome friends who make me laugh and whom i adore alot!...it boggles my mind!...whatevs, i am so tired i feel like i am going to die!...haha
and that's about it!
<3 |
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| all i can say is....... |
[Oct. 23rd, 2005|05:45 pm] |
| [ | how's Waldo? |
| | happy | ] |
all i can say is i love pacsun and the people that work there!
and belts with meat/jello on them..hahhahahha
i love my life so much it's so random! |
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| ha |
[Oct. 23rd, 2005|11:12 am] |
| [ | how's Waldo? |
| | crazy | ] |
| [ | da tunes |
| | sdklasdklcrioemvcsd...nothing | ] |
i am functioning on 3 hours sleep....hahahhahhaha
this quote fits me so well... "i recon you're about an 8 or a 9 mabye a 9.5 in 4 beers time!"....hahahhahahhahhaahhahahha
oh my life!
hahhahaa 7.5's...we need to stick together!!!!!!!!!!! |
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| YAY |
[Oct. 21st, 2005|07:33 am] |
| [ | how's Waldo? |
| | awake | ] |
| [ | da tunes |
| | rocko's modern life! | ] |
does this logic make sense in your head...today is my day off from school and i am AWAKE at 7:00 am.?????? who does that hahaha anyways since i am up at the early hours i decided to update...because that is so constructive!..haha I am excited about today because i am getting my hair cut this afternoon...and finally getting my tires changed for the winter...fun then i have nothing to do after that besides shop for gardening tools etc. oh yeah!...i was so bored yesterday that i actually did my SAT prep homework...my life is getting more and more pathedic!...hahahhahaha i just laugh at myself!..I <3 it...not really but it's okay! i don't know what else to write about because it is so early and i am massively bored!
<3 |
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|
| it's only tuesday.... |
[Oct. 18th, 2005|06:46 pm] |
| [ | how's Waldo? |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | da tunes |
| | ????? | ] |
eh today was alright except for the fact that i was driving on the white church bridge comming home and who do i see?????...none other than shawn driving...it was mad weird!..heck yes!.....so now after seeing him i began to think about some stuff well today... i thought about how somewhere i have built up bitterness towards him, i know that i shouldn't because i should be cool with everything but mabye sometimes when you don't cry on the outside.well i still cry in my heart, rather than sadness i have anger? i don't like it i want everything to be cool in a sense that, i am not angry at him for ending things between us..i hope you know what i am talking about..but i really want the bitter feelings to go away soon!!!! and i also thought today about my relationship status and how i don't have one...haha being single sucks granted but i think i am just gettting used to it and don't really hate it but don't love it? i don't even know if i am making ANY sense but all of these emotions are comming out and as soon as i remember them i am typing them out so sorry if this seems dumb to you. But anyhow..i feel like somehow i have put on this sort of "pitty party" like whoa is me i got dumped!...psh please big deal i've gotten dumped before...oh well i really want to be happy with my status and who i am....i really wish i had more confidence within myself...eh we can only try...hahaha so i don't know...mabye my bitterness with this guy is really me bitter about myself?...i have no idea i am just trying to sound deep!...haha i'll update more on my love life or lack of later
<3 peace |
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| eff this. |
[Oct. 17th, 2005|04:32 pm] |
| [ | how's Waldo? |
| | pissed off | ] |
I'm done...
this is so dumb!...
stop! |
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| aahhhh |
[Oct. 16th, 2005|02:31 pm] |
| [ | how's Waldo? |
| | crappy | ] |
| [ | da tunes |
| | laguna music....lol | ] |
I am so bored today...this morning i woke up for church half dead...and now i am all alone in my house stuck watching laguna beach...hahahaha this weekend hasn't been that good to me, well...on saturday i hung out with amanda that was interesting..haha....i had fun with it though and i also went to my nana's to paint pumpkins..and i had a good time but my brain is crazy, i often find myself thinking about and missing shawn...UGH WHY??....i don't know i miss boys!!!! I like this boy but i don't think he is attracted to me in the least bit...but you know me i'll still try because i have to find everything out the hard way!...whatevs!!!! i really like this boy and basically everyone knows who it is...hahaha i need to keep myself from eating...i have been eating like a cow this whole weekend because i am bored and it sucks because i am feeling really really fat and gross....but there is really not much i can do about that. It's almost time to start another week in school...i'm not that exited because i have to write about 5 physics journals by the 20th that is in about 3 days....GGGRRRRREEEEAAATTTT....looks like a fun week for me...hhahaha i don't know what i am going to do...i am going crazy with the whole being single thing...gosh i don't know what to do...because it seems that guys hate me!...they just stop talking to me after a while with no warning...that's what sucks i just want to find a nice boy that will actually RESPECT my feelings...wow...well boys that like me we all know right off the bat that they will most likely be A.) a tool B.) a jerk C.) other ahhaha
mabye my bad luck will end soon I FREAKIN' HOPE SO!....hahhaha
sweet
<3 |
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| shdjudwenjkasdzs |
[Oct. 9th, 2005|07:56 am] |
| [ | how's Waldo? |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | da tunes |
| | the silence | ] |
there is nothing much to say about recent times.....because everyone that is going to be reading this most likely already knows what happened these past few weeks...i am up way too early when brenna calls me at midnight!!!!...AAAHHHHH haha.. i re found out how much i don't like Aarron Burr and how much i <3 alex hamilton.
that is pretty much what i did yesterday was study and love history!!!!
yay
<3 ya |
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| this is how we do. |
[Sep. 12th, 2005|06:33 pm] |
| [ | how's Waldo? |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | da tunes |
| | t.v | ] |
i can't help but smile....
except in school because it is so overwhelming, and i am intimidated by the rest of student council!...
but i am so happy it's awesome...i love being happy! |
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ruthinator's journal